Blushing Cheeks
by Mikus Proud
Summary: Hermione can control her words and actions, but she can't control her blushing cheeks. She can only hope Sirius doesn't notice. (AU)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I have been reading Harry Potter fan fiction for well over a decade. Recently, I was introduced to the Hermione x Sirius ship through the amazing "The Debt of Time" by ShayaLonnie. I was completely hooked, and read through pretty much every available story I could find. But there wasn't enough!

So, a friend of mine (Ms. K. Everdeen – thank you for the encouragement and help!) said that if I couldn't find any more stories to read, I should write my own. And that's what I did! This is a short, multi-chapter fic. It is complete, and I will be posting one chapter a week. It's AU, mostly in regard to character death, and the Epilogue is disregarded. I hope everyone enjoys, and please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I wish I could live in this world, but I unfortunately don't own any of it.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

Closing the front door behind her, Hermione Granger entered the foyer of 12 Grimmauld Place. It had been more than ten years since the first time she had walked through that door, and the place could not be more different. Harry had worked very hard to make the place feel like a real home, and with more than a little help from his fiancée, he had succeeded. Ginny had a knack for decorating, and she didn't employ anything too frilly or floral, much to Harry's relief.

"Anyone home?" Hermione called out as she hung up her cloak. She was over an hour early for their planned dinner, and she wasn't sure if anyone would be home to greet her.

After a few beats, she heard Ginny's voice letting her know to come to the kitchen. She picked up her bag and made her way down the stairs. She smiled as she saw the garland wrapped around the bannister. Harry always liked to decorate to the fullest extent for Christmas, a remnant of the happy times he had spent at Hogwarts.

It was December 16th. While her little group of friends tried to spend as much time together as possible, life often got in the way. It was especially difficult for Hermione, who worked as Arthimancy professor at Hogwarts, while the rest of the group lived in London. But, no matter what was going on, they always made time for monthly dinners together at Grimmauld Place.

Usually, they skipped their typical dinner in December since they all spent Christmas Day together at the Burrow, but Harry had owled yesterday to ask to make an exception. Though an odd request, Hermione didn't have any inkling as to the reason behind it, so she was not at all expecting the surprise that was waiting for her in the kitchen.

"Sorry I'm so early," she said as she breezed in the room, dropping her bag on the table. "Decorations for tomorrow's feast were starting to go up, and I thought I had better get out of there before someone roped me in to helping."

She looked up to see Harry and Ginny standing by the sink looking at her oddly. "What is it?" she asked, glancing around the room for the first time. It was then that she noticed someone standing at the other end of the dining table. She did a double take, and couldn't help it when her jaw dropped.

"Hello Hermione." Sirius Black said, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile. He stood there, looking exactly the way he had the last time Hermione had seen him, at Christmas time, eleven years ago.

"Ahh, wha... Uhh..." Hermione started incoherently, looking to Harry and Ginny for some sort of explanation. She felt like she was hallucinating, because surely Sirius could not really be standing there as if no time had passed. He looked very much alive, and that just couldn't be.

"He's real, Hermione." Harry said, a big grin forming on his face.

"But how?!" Hermione practically shouted, looking back at Sirius. His small smile had turned into a grin to match Harry's.

"I came back through the Veil," Sirius replied.

"That's a thing?! I didn't think that was possible!" Hermione could hear the hysteria in her voice and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down.

"The Unspeakables were doing some experimenting, but they didn't provide much detail. You know how they are about secrecy," Harry said. As an Auror, Harry had some contact with the Department of Mysteries, but unless you worked directly for the department, you were unlikely to get any straight answers from them.

Hermione looked back to Sirius, who shrugged. "I don't remember much myself. I woke up in a secluded ward at St. Mungo's. At first, I didn't realize what was going on. When a healer showed up and started quizzing me about my memories, I started to wonder what had happened that night in the Department of Mysteries. They held me for testing for a week, then told me more than ten years had passed and that I had been cleared of all charges."

Hermione felt tears gathering in her eyes. "Sirius... I just, I can't believe this."

Sirius started walking over to her. "When they told me I was free to go, I wasn't sure what to do. I still had no idea of what had happened in the last decade. So, I asked them to contact Harry. He definitely got a shock when he walked into my room."

Harry chuckled, "I wish someone had warned me! I thought I was there to question someone for a case. Aurors are often called in to get to the bottom of situations, especially in the case of injury from spells gone wrong. But when I opened the door, there was Sirius!"

"After the initial shock wore off, Harry brought me here. And then after Ginny worked through her shock, they've walked me through what I've missed, at least as much as possible in the past day." Sirius stopped in front of Hermione and hesitated. She didn't think twice, and threw her arms around his neck.

"Oh, I've missed you so much," she murmured into his shoulder. As Sirius' arms came around her back tightly, he pressed his face into her curls. She smiled.

* * *

As the rest of their friends arrived, there were varying degrees of surprise. Ron's loud exclamation of "Bloody hell!" was typical, and Tonks was speechless as she watched her husband greet his long-lost friend.

Out of all the reactions Sirius received, Remus' was by far the most emotional. Watching both men hug and wipe at their eyes tugged at Hermione's heart.

After everything settled and the meager explanation of Sirius' return told, the group sat down to dinner.

Hermione watched Sirius covertly as he listened to everyone tell their own stories of what had happened in their lives since he'd been gone. He seemed to be smiling and laughing at all the right places, but he was jittery. His hands kept playing with his napkin and utensils, and she could tell that he was bouncing his knee as he sat.

She couldn't help but laugh when Sirius pretended to pick a fight with Remus over marrying his baby cousin. His good-natured taunting, along with Remus' rebuttals seemed to help him calm down and relax somewhat.

When dinner was finished, Sirius excused himself while the others in the group moved into the sitting room. Hermione stayed behind to help Ginny clean up. The younger woman eyed her for a moment before speaking, "So, what's up between you and Sirius?"

"What?" Hermione exclaimed, surprised by the question.

"I was always under the impression that the two of you didn't care much for each other, but you were practically in tears and clung to him when you first saw him. Then you watched him all through dinner." Ginny said as she set the dishes to cleaning with her wand.

"I was emotional! We all thought he was dead! I'm thrilled he finally gets a chance to live the life he missed out on," Hermione said. She hoped that would appease Ginny, but of course the red head was not fooled.

"That still doesn't explain why you watched him all through dinner," she said.

"I don't know what to tell you Ginny," Hermione said. "I never disliked Sirius. We butted heads over many topics of course, but I didn't really know him that well personally."

"If you say so." Ginny replied, clearly not believing Hermione's lie. Hermione had no desire to tell her the reason why she was so emotional over Sirius' return.

As Ginny left the kitchen, Hermione was left to think about her time with him, something she hadn't let herself think about for a long time.

* * *

 ** _July 12, 1995_**

"Argh!" Fifteen-year-old Hermione yelled as she stomped out onto the back stoop, slamming the door. Except the ancient wooden door got stuck halfway, leaving the angry girl completely unsatisfied, so she kicked it for good measure before forcing it closed. Swinging around, she jumped and let out a startled squeak.

Sirius was sitting on the step, looking over his shoulder at her, cigarette in hand, eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Sirius! You startled me!" Hermione exclaimed.

"That was quite the entrance you just made! That door really deserve such rough treatment?" Sirius asked.

Hermione's cheeks burned in embarrassment. "I-I didn't think anyone was out here. I'm sorry for bothering you."

Sirius waved her apology away. "I'm just out here for a smoke. Feel free to join me if you want."

Hermione took a seat next to him, "You know that's a nasty habit. You should really think about quitting." She couldn't seem to be able to stop herself from ribbing him when they were together.

"Why thank you for that wonderful piece of advice, Hermione," he said sarcastically. She made as if to leave, but he grabbed her arm.

"Don't leave, I'm sorry. I'm just a bit on edge. Sometimes, having a houseful of people can be bit much, especially after so many years alone. Smoking helps me deal with the stress, and it's honestly probably one of the least destructive ways to cope I could turn to."

Hermione stared at him. He had never talked to her like that before. "Do you forgive me?" He asked when she didn't say anything.

She nodded. "As long as you forgive me for lecturing you all the time."

Sirius smiled at her and nodded. After a few minutes of silence, Sirius asked, "So, what brought on your sudden bought of anger?"

Hermione scowled, "The boys have been driving me crazy!"

"Ah, no further explanations needed," Sirius said. He laughed at her expression. "Maybe being cooped up in this awful house with so many people is having a negative effect on you too?"

"Perhaps," she said, relaxing her face. "But I'm glad I'm spending the summer here. It can get lonely at home with just my parents."

They continued talking for a while, both being distracted from their worries. When Mrs. Weasley came looking for Hermione, she stood to go back inside.

Sirius cleared his throat, "I'm to be found out here quite a bit, taking a break from the chaos. If you ever need a break yourself."

Hermione smiled at him, "I may just take you up on that."

* * *

And she had. She and Sirius had spent hours out there together that summer. She had enjoyed his company, and while they had argued, it was mostly good natured.

He had told her quite a bit about himself. What it was like growing up in that house amidst all the pureblood mania, about his days at Hogwarts with James and Lily. Hermione had been most surprised when he had opened up about his time in Azkaban.

It made her feel good that he seemed to trust her enough to share so much of himself. In return, he listened to her stories about growing up in the muggle world, and her struggle to make friends. He never made her feel stupid for sharing what must have been very petty teenage concerns. She had been grateful for that. He had been the first person to make her feel grown up.

She had never told anyone about the time they had spent together, so to all outward appearance, they had been barely acquainted. She had known him well, perhaps better than even Harry had.

The memories made her smile. She decided to go looking for Sirius, and she had a feeling she knew just where he would be.

* * *

"I knew I'd find you out here," Hermione said, sitting down on the stoop next to Sirius. "Checking out the beautiful scenery?"

The back garden was dreary at this time of year. The plants were dormant and barren, though the light sprinkling of snow on the ground livened it up a bit.

"You know me, I do love horticulture," Sirius joked, bumping his shoulder against hers.

Hermione laughed, wrapping her cloak more tightly around herself, "And have you finally taken my advice and given up smoking?"

Sirius smirked, "Haven't you heard? I gave it up cold-turkey ten years ago. I guess it doesn't make much sense to start up with it again."

They sat together in comfortable silence as the minutes stretched on, shoulders touching, giving each other warmth in the chilly night air. Suddenly, Sirius' voice broke through Hermione's thoughts, "You look like you're thinking very hard over there."

Hermione shook her head, "It's just so disconcerting, sitting here again with you."

"Disconcerting!" Sirius barked suddenly, startling her. "Try waking up and finding out you've lost another decade of your life and that everyone you love has moved on with their lives without you!"

Sirius jumped up and paced away, hands clenched in his wavy, shoulder length hair. Hermione studied him in silence, allowing him time to work through his sudden outburst. After a few moments he stopped, facing Hermione, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take my anger out on you. I'm just so bloody overwhelmed! I'm not handling it very well."

"You have nothing to be sorry for Sirius," Hermione soothed. "I'm not going to judge you for being overwhelmed and lashing out. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling."

Sirius shook his head ruefully, "I don't even know how to feel! One minute I'm ecstatic about the prospect of finally being able to live my life, followed closely by fury over having missed so much. Then I feel like I want to crawl in a hole and never come out for fear of having to deal with all of this. It's that last feeling that drove me out here."

"Perhaps now is not the best time to give up smoking?" Hermione queried, making him smile. "Would you rather I leave you alone?"

"No!" Sirius practically shouted. "I-I thought I wanted to be alone, but now that you're here..." He trailed off.

"Ok." Hermione said. Silence fell again, and Sirius resumed pacing.

"I'm having a hard time deciding what's stranger, the fact that you're suddenly twenty-seven, or the fact that I'm now only ten years older than you?" he said, coming to sit down next to her again.

Hermione took a moment to study him as he looked out over the garden. He certainly hadn't aged since falling through the veil. He had been an attractive man before Azkaban; she had seen numerous pictures. And once he had settled into life in Grimmauld Place prior to disappearing, he had started to lose that emaciated, escaped convict look. He groomed his dark hair to shoulder length, and kept his beard trimmed and neat. His clothing, though eccentric, fit his slim body well, and the prison tattoos that peaked out above his shirt collar and decorated his forearms and knuckles added to the dangerous air he seemed to exude.

Hermione would be lying if she said she hadn't developed a bit of a crush on him from all those hours they had spent on this very stoop the summer before her fifth year. Though it had cooled once she had returned to school, it had made it even more difficult for her to deal with his death.

Hermione jumped when Sirius cleared his throat. "Geez Hermione, you're going to make a guy blush," he said, clearly uncomfortable with her too long scrutiny.

Blushing herself at the direction her thoughts had taken, Hermione giggled. "I think it would take a lot more than that to make you blush, Sirius Black! I've heard the stories."

"Oh really," he said, grinning. "Well, I guess since you're all grown up now, I don't have to worry about corrupting your innocent mind."

Hermione was blushing furiously now, as she teasingly punched his shoulder, "I didn't realize you had been concerned about that before!"

Sirius was suddenly looking at her intently. "Believe me, I was aware you were a teenager, and edited accordingly. Though I will admit that my censor was more than a little skewed by my time in Azkaban. I don't believe I came out of there with a fully intact mind, and I never learned how to be a real adult."

He reached out to tug on one of her wild curls and smiled. Hermione smiled back, trying to ignore the sudden fluttering in her stomach. "You're a free man now Sirius. You have all the time in the world to figure out your life. You don't have to rush into anything. Take it slow."

"Slow, hmm?" Sirius murmured, pulling his hand back. "Slow was never really my strong suit."

Hermione desperately wanted to look away, but she seemed unable to break his gaze. Suddenly, the door burst open, making them both jump.

"There you two are!" Harry said, stepping out onto the stoop. "Remus and Tonks need to get home to Teddy. Andromeda was available last minute to sit with him, but only until ten o'clock."

"We'll be right in," Sirius told him, looking back to Hermione. After Harry had left, Sirius stood up and offered Hermione his hand. Once she was standing in front of him, he tugged on one of her curls again. "I've decided you being twenty-seven is definitely stranger. Disconcerting indeed."

With that he stepped around her into the house. Hermione held her chilled hands to her burning cheeks and took a deep breath. 'How inconvenient!' She thought as she followed Sirius into the house.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I am overwhelmed by the response to the first chapter of this story! Thank you so much for all the Favs, Follows, and Reviews! Here is Chapter 2. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

The following days leading up to Christmas were a blur. Hermione was always excited for her day spent at the Burrow, but this year she was practically giddy.

She was looking forward to seeing Sirius in a setting outside of Grimmauld Place. All of her social interactions with him had been there, and she hoped being out of that house would make him more relaxed.

She arrived at the Burrow at 11 o'clock. She knew Harry and Ginny were bringing Sirius with them earlier in the morning as the Weasleys opened presents among the family.

They had decided to keep Sirius' return a secret from the rest of their extended family until today. So, everyone was in for a shock.

As Hermione entered, she heard loud laughing coming from the sitting room. When she walked into the room, she saw Sirius holding court, telling some inappropriate Christmas time story from his Marauder days while everyone sat around the tree. No one noticed her but Sirius, and he quirked a smile at her, winking as he finished his tale.

"Happy Christmas, Hermione," he said, causing everyone to spin around and look at her.

"Hermione!" Molly cried, jumping up. "My goodness, what time is it?! I've completely lost track. People will be arriving any minute, and I still have to finish luncheon!"

"I can help you, Molly," Hermione offered.

"No, no dear, you've only just arrived! Say hello and settle in, Ginny and Fleur will help me in the kitchen," Molly said, bustling out.

Ginny and Fleur rolled their eyes at each other and got up to follow, giving Hermione hugs as they passed. Then Hermione was greeted by a seemingly endless stream of Weasley men, being hugged by each and given a sloppy kiss on each cheek by Fred and George. After hugging Harry and wishing him a happy Christmas, she stopped in front of Sirius. She suddenly felt awkward, though she had hugged him without thought just a few days before and had hugged everyone else in the room.

"Happy Christmas, Sirius," she said, unmoving. Sirius raised his eyebrows at her.

"What, I don't qualify for a Christmas hug?" He asked, feigning hurt. Hermione laughed, her awkwardness draining away.

"Aww, you poor baby," Hermione cooed soothingly, "Hug to make you feel better?" She held her arms out wide.

Sirius practically jumped forward into her arms, wrapping her in a huge bear hug and squeezed.

"Much better," he muttered into her ear, making Hermione's stomach flutter again.

'That's going to be a definite problem.' She thought to herself as she pulled away.

* * *

The rest of the day was almost perfect. She was with her favorite people in the world, and Sirius was in top form, displaying none of the uncomfortable jitteriness he had displayed last time she had seen him. Hermione hoped his good-natured attitude meant he was starting to settle in to his new reality.

The only moment she could have done without was an uncomfortable conversation during lunch when Molly started bemoaning all her serially single children. "I just don't understand it! How is it possible that not more of you are married, giving me grandchildren!"

Hermione ducked her head, knowing what was coming next and dreading it. "And I still can't believe that Hermione and Ron aren't together! I always had hope Hermione would join the family officially, like Harry," Molly continued.

"Oh, give it a rest, Mum," Ron said. "You know 'Mione and I had a go of it, but we both knew we were better off as friends. Why do you have to bring it up all the time?"

"Well, maybe if one of you would settle down with someone else, I would be happy. But until that day comes, I will continue to believe that the two of you belong together!"

"Leave them be, Molly," Arthur said sternly, then successfully directed the conversation to a different topic.

Hermione felt Sirius' eyes on her, but she studiously avoided looking at him. She had heard the same complaints from Molly at nearly every family gathering since she and Ron had broken up when they were eighteen. Their relationship that had started in the heat of the final battle had fizzled quickly, lasting barely six months. They ended things mutually and had been able to remain close friends, even through the few romantic relationships they each had had since then. But Molly would never forgive them.

Having Sirius watch her from across the table left her feeling a new level of discomfort at Molly's words. During one of their many conversations, fifteen-year-old Hermione had told him of her feelings for Ron. Looking back, it was all so immature, and she was suddenly sure that Sirius had thought her silly. To have him hear about Ron and her failed relationship now made her _feel_ silly and she didn't like it.

Thankfully he was pulled into the new conversation with Arthur and she felt his attention turn away from her.

* * *

Hermione wished that she hadn't agreed to come out for New Year's Eve. This was not her scene, but Tonks had convinced her that it was a good idea. She said they should all support Sirius during his first foray into the public world in decades.

At first the idea was exciting to Hermione. A chance to interact with him outside the house, in the dim lighting of the muggle club the group had chosen. It would be a totally new experience.

The night had started off well. When she met her friends at the club's entrance, she had been startled by Sirius' appearance. She had never seen "going out" Sirius before, and though he didn't physically look much different than usual, he suddenly seemed to have a very different vibe. Like the dangerous edge that always seemed to hang around him was turned up a notch, and he seemed completely confident in his skin, which was never really something Hermione had ever seen from him. He was sporting the worn, dark leather jacket she knew he owned from his days riding a motorcycle, but she had never seen him in before.

She had been ecstatic that somehow during the shuffle of people entering the large round corner booth, she ended up smashed in the middle next to Sirius. When he winked at her and threw his arm on the back of the seat behind her shoulders, she was suddenly very glad of the dim lighting. Her cheeks warmed up instantly.

Everyone talked and laughed and drank for a while, and Hermione was feeling very cozy, snuggled up against Sirius' side. That was until Ginny suggested dancing, and the whole table dispersed almost instantaneously, leaving Hermione and Sirius alone.

"What about it?" He asked, gesturing toward the dance floor.

"Umm, I'm not much of a dancer," Hermione replied.

Sirius laughed, "Yeah, you don't really strike me as much of a club girl."

Hermione shook her head, wondering whether he thought that was a bad thing.

"Well, I can't just leave you sitting here all alone. I'm far too much of a gentleman for that," he boasted, puffing out his chest. "Come on, just one dance."

Hermione had a sudden vision of herself bobbing uncomfortably in the middle of the dance floor with him, and she decided she couldn't bring herself to do it. "Thanks, but no. But you should go! Have fun!"

Sirius looked at her skeptically, but she made a shooing motion with her hands, "Honestly, Sirius, I'll be fine. This if your first night out in forever! Don't spend it sitting here with me."

For a moment, he looked like he was going to refuse to leave. But then he glanced at the dance floor and grinned, "It would be fun to let loose for a while. I think I've been cooped up for far too long. But only if you're sure?"

Hermione nodded. He leaned in quickly, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. A moment later he was disappearing into the crowd, leaving her to mentally curse herself.

'He wanted to spend time with you, to dance with you! What were you thinking sending him away?' She berated herself.

She resolved that when he came back to the table, she would tell him she had changed her mind and wanted to dance. But he never came back. That's when the night went downhill.

Hermione spent the evening mostly alone. Her friends joined her here and there to take a break, and Ron had tried to talk her into dancing with him. But she was too busy torturing herself by watching Sirius.

He only came into her view on and off throughout the night in the crowd, but was clear that he was in his element. He was floating in and out of different crowds of people, seemingly joining complete strangers in conversations and on the dance floor without hesitation, something that Hermione would have never been able to do. It seemed to be completely natural for him.

As the night wore on, and she watched what seemed like the hundredth woman cozy up to Sirius' side, Hermione decided she had had enough. Harry and Ginny were at the table with her when she made to leave, "Where do you think you're going?" Ginny asked, grabbing her arm.

"I'm going home," Hermione said.

"You can't go home now, it's nearly midnight! I know you're not having the best time, but that's your own fault, sitting here all by yourself."

Hermione was well aware of that, which was why she wanted to get out of there.

Ginny continued, "Look, just stay to ring in the New Year. We'll gather everyone up and make sure we're all back at the table by midnight to be with you, ok?"

Hermione sat back, allowing Ginny to convince her, "Fine, but I'm leaving right after."

Ginny nodded as she and Harry left the table again. A few minutes to midnight, people began filtering back, but still no Sirius. Hermione wanted to ask where he was, but didn't want to answer any questions about why she was so interested.

She tried to hide her disappointment when the countdown began and he was nowhere in sight. She toasted with each of her friends and received kisses on each cheek from Ron and Remus, seated on either side of her, which made her think back to the quick kiss Sirius had given her earlier.

A moment later she caught sight of him out on the dance floor, arms wrapped around a leggy blond, lips locked with hers. Suddenly, Hermione couldn't breathe. She made excuses, pushing her way out of the booth and making for the door.

Once outside, she took a few deep breaths to get her bearings again. She knew now she had made a big mistake in telling Sirius to go have fun without her. Because she had just witnessed his big return to the land of the living.

It appeared as though Sirius Black was back, and he was starting his new life in another woman's arms.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Hermione tried her best to not think about Sirius in the weeks following the New Year. For the most part she was successful. She was busy with the new term and only heard from Ginny once to confirm their monthly dinner on the 20th.

She knew that Sirius was continuing to stay at Grimmauld Place, but Ginny didn't mention him, which was fine by Hermione.

She was nervous about seeing him again, even though she had no reason to be. She couldn't help but be embarrassed by her reaction to his behavior, but she comforted herself that no one knew what thoughts had been going through her head that night.

She had also decided that she was more than a little miffed with him as well. After hesitating to leave her alone, he had abandoned her all night and hadn't even checked on her.

She arrived right on time the evening of the 20th, and was greeted by the man himself. He smiled, taking her cloak like the perfect host and ushered her into the sitting room for drinks.

All through dinner he was attentive and gracious with everyone present, but she couldn't help but feel like he was doing it for her benefit, though she couldn't say why.

When everyone ended up talking in the sitting room again after dinner, Sirius stood and made his way to the door. He waited until Hermione looked up at him, and he gestured with this head out into the hallway.

Assuming he wanted her to follow, she excused herself a few minutes later, making her way to the back garden.

Sirius sat on their usual step. As she joined him, she noticed he had cast a warming charm. For some reason, the simple gesture touched her.

He glanced over at her. She stayed silent, knowing he had called her out there for a reason.

"I wanted to apologize," he began, then chuckled "Have you noticed I seem to do a lot of that out here with you?"

"What do you need to apologize for?" Hermione asked, surprised.

"For New Year's. I should never have left you alone like that."

Hermione shook her head, all the annoyance she had felt toward him melting away at his contrite tone. "I insisted you leave, you don't have to apologize to me for doing what I told you to do."

"I should have insisted you dance with me, or stayed with you until someone came back to keep you company. Ginny said you stayed there all night alone!"

Hermione cringed at his words, "You don't have to feel sorry for me Sirius."

"I don't, I swear!" He protested. "At the very least I should have checked in with you throughout the night."

"I'm a big girl now, I don't need a babysitter."

He was suddenly looking at her again with that same intensity as he did last month out there on the stoop. "I'm beginning to realize that," he said softly.

Throat suddenly tight, Hermione decided to rib him a bit, "Besides, I think you had quite enough to occupy your time that night. You certainly did at midnight."

Sirius ducked his head, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck. If Hermione hadn't known better, she would have said he was blushing, "Saw that, did you?"

"Yes, I did. So, are you... going out a lot?"

He looked surprised by her question. "Umm, I guess. I'm not really comfortable being seen in the wizarding world yet, too many people recognize me. So, I like the anonymity of the muggle world. I feel more at ease."

"And... How at ease are you?" Hermione's cheeks were burning, but her morbid curiosity was getting the better of her.

"I'm not sure what you're asking." The confusion on Sirius' face was clear.

"Just that you seemed awfully comfortable with certain, umm, certain groups of people. I guess I was just curious whether you were..." She trailed off, unable to find a way to ask him without coming right out and saying, 'I want to know if you're sleeping around!'

Sirius still looked confused, but suddenly his face turned from confused to shocked. Then he laughed, "Wouldn't you like to know," he said, waggling his eyebrows at her.

'Yes, I do want to know, so tell me!' Hermione screamed in her mind.

Hermione's face must have shown her frustration, because he smiled, reaching out and tugging on a curl, "You don't have to worry about me Hermione. I'm dealing with things in my own way."

"I just hope that you're being... safe."

Sirius barked a loud laugh, "Wow Hermione, you seem pretty determined to kick last month's disconcerting conversation into high gear!"

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said anything!"

"Well, I've already had that conversation with Remus, though we really didn't need to. You can rest assured that I'm fully capable of taking care of things."

Hermione looked dubious, but let it go.

"So, I just found out Arthur still has my bike!" Sirius said excitedly, effectively ending the previous conversation.

"Really? I thought he had gotten rid of it years ago."

"I did as well, but apparently, he has been hiding it because Molly would have been pissed if she found out. I'm going to go pick it up tomorrow!"

He was practically bouncing in his excitement. Hermione couldn't help but smile, "You seem pretty happy about it."

"Of course I am! That bike was a very important part of my past. It was the first thing I bought with money I had earned myself. It was a big deal for me."

Hermione's surprise must have shown on her face, "What, didn't you know I was a hardworking lad out of Hogwarts?"

"Actually, no, I didn't know that. What did you do?"

Sirius sighed, rubbing his face with his hand, "I was an Auror. I had thought I could be of help to the Order and, I don't know, get insider info or something. But it didn't really work out that way. I was young and far too immature, and I wasn't at all prepared for the messiness of the job."

"My Uncle Alphard died when I was nineteen. He was a bit of a rebel himself for a Black, and he went against all family convention and left me his fortune, most likely to piss old Walburga off, as she was such a loving mother. I used the money as an excuse to quit the job that I hated."

"I had never really thought about how you had inherited your fortune. I guess I assumed it was from your parents." Hermione said.

Sirius laughed bitterly, "Not at all! I was blasted off that family tree when I was sixteen and ran away to the Potters. After my father and Regulus had died, my mother made sure that I wasn't to inherit any of the Black money from my father's side. If I were to guess, I would think it was left to Narcissa and ended up in Malfoy hands."

"But what about this house? How did you end up with it?" Hermione asked.

Sirius shrugged, "I never found out. My mother died when I was in Azkaban, and I received official notification that it had been transferred into my name. I never thought I'd come back here, so it didn't really matter. Fate had other plans."

"I'm glad it did. This house was a real lifeline for Harry after the war. A place where he could escape and be himself. And it was a connection to you. He really needed that then."

Sirius smiled softly, "I'm glad it did someone some good."

Hermione didn't say anything for a while, thinking over everything he had told her. Then she bumped his shoulder with hers, "And now, Mr. Auror? Going to be joining the workforce again or be a layabout, living off your inherited fortune in your childhood bedroom?

Sirius chuckled, "I think I kind of like that idea, being Harry's rich, eccentric godfather. Maybe I should buy a smoking jacket and take up the pipe. What do you think? Could I pull it off?"

Hermione laughed, "I think you could pull off anything you put your mind to Sirius. I have faith in you!"

Sirius put his arm around her shoulders. Hermione stilled, suddenly very aware of him, and cursed herself when her cheeks heated up. "I believe you do have faith in me, Hermione. That means... everything to me." He kissed her lightly on the temple, then stood and helped her to her feet.

* * *

Hermione always hated early February, in the weeks leading up to Valentine's Day. The school held a dance on that night for fourth years and up; emotions and hormones were running high, and there were always a lot of tears from students rejected by their desired dates.

Of course, Hermione hated the holiday for many reasons, not in the least of which that she had never been in a relationship for the day, and she couldn't help but be bitter at the romance of the holiday. Her romantic life had been less than successful, and while she hadn't exactly given up hope, she wasn't really all that interested in being reminded that she was still alone.

It didn't help that she couldn't stop thinking about Sirius. She wanted to pretend that the feelings she had for him were only ones of friendship, that she cared for him no differently than she cared for Remus or Harry. But she knew that would be a lie. The small crush that she had for him when she was a teenager had come back tenfold, and every time she saw him, she felt herself sliding deeper, and it scared her.

She wasn't in love with him, but she could be honest with herself and say that she could very easily be. But at the same time, he wasn't exactly a man she felt she could count on to make any sort of commitment. Even if by some miracle he could ever see her as anything more than Harry's little bookworm best friend, or as the teenager who had shared a stoop with him and told him all her worries.

Last weekend, she had gone to London to meet Tonks for lunch in Diagon Alley. She and Tonks had become close friends in the years following the war, and they got together more frequently than Hermione did with her other friends while she was at Hogwarts.

Hermione wanted to try to pry some information about Sirius from her, knowing she probably knew more than anyone else from Remus, but she needn't have worried, Tonks was more than happy to talk about her cousin.

"He's going out an awful lot, and sometimes he doesn't get home until after breakfast, if you know what I mean," Tonks leered, then giggled at Hermione's stricken face. "No need to pretend like you're some virgin bride, Hermione. I know you better than that!"

Hermione scowled, "I'm not! And I'm not surprised to hear it. I had just hoped that he wouldn't be so reckless. I don't want him to do anything he'll regret and mess up his second chance to build a good life for himself."

"I didn't realize you concerned yourself so much over Sirius' life." Tonks said.

Hermione sighed, not wanting to share any details with her friend, "I don't really. I consider Sirius a friend, and I'm concerned about his well-being is all. Same as I would be with any of my friends."

Tonks studied her for a few moments before continuing. "I wouldn't worry too much about him, Hermione. He's just having some fun while he figures things out. I'm sure it'll lose its appeal."

Hermione wasn't sure about that assessment, but decided to change the subject, and started in on her complaints about Valentine's Day.

* * *

The morning of the holiday was met with a flurry of owls at breakfast. When one landed in front of her, Hermione started, surprised. She recognized Harry's owl, and assumed it was just a note letting her know when their monthly dinner was being held. She stuffed the envelope in her robe pocket and left for her first class of the day.

She forgot about the note until her free period just after lunch. She sat down behind the desk in her office and opened the envelope. Instead of the quick note she expected, she found a much longer missive. Surprised, she began to read.

 _Hermione,_

 _I hope you'll forgive me for writing you. Or maybe you should forgive me for not writing you before?_

 _Tonks and Remus dropped by for a visit yesterday with Teddy, and she happened to mention your hatred of the holiday today. While I'll certainly agree with you that the actual holiday is romantic drivel, I think the spirit of the day is important._

 _To me, it's about letting the people most important to you know how much you care. And when I think about who those people are in my life, you make the relatively short list. So, I couldn't stand the thought of you stewing away the day, with nothing to make you smile._

 _I know I told you before that it was hard for me to see you as a twenty-seven-year-old woman. And it was, but maybe not for the reasons you may have thought. You and Harry were important to me before I fell. And to come back and find out that you were both adults, adults who were completely different than the teenagers I knew, was very difficult. What if adult Hermione no longer liked me? No longer wanted to sit out in the garden and talk about nothing and everything with me? It was a terrifying thought._

 _But you've proven yourself a true friend to me these last couple months, and it means the world to me. So, I hoped I could show my appreciation by making this dreaded holiday a little less horrible for you._

 _Inside the envelope is shrunken package. Maybe you'll think me too sentimental, but I found it while cleaning out and redoing my bedroom (I thought it was time to maybe grow up a little?). I don't remember having it, but I'm very glad now that I do. It reminds me of where I came from and the people who are there for me as I continue moving to where I'm going._

 _Happy Valentine's Day Hermione. I hope I succeeded in making you smile._

 _Sirius_

 _P.S. I'm sure you're quite busy at Hogwarts, but I thought perhaps I could write you sometimes?_

Hermione smiled, eyes somewhat teary as she slid the tiny package out of the envelope. She hadn't noticed it before. It was so small. She tapped it with her wand, enlarging it and unfolded the paper that covered it.

Inside was a framed photograph. It showed Sirius sitting on the sofa in the sitting room at Grimmauld Place, flanked on either side by Harry and Hermione. She remembered the photo being taken the last Christmas they had spent together when Sirius had been in hiding, though she had never seen the developed photo.

Hermione laughed, wiping the tears from her cheeks at the photo. Sirius threw his arms around the teenagers at his sides, all three laughing, and Sirius winking at the camera.

Hermione set the frame on her desk and stared at it for a long moment. Then she pulled out a piece of parchment and quill.

 _Dear Sirius,_

 _Thank you so much for the photo. I have never seen it, though I remember it being taken. It means so much to me that you sent it, and that you wanted to make my day better._

 _You succeeded in your mission to make me smile. I agree the spirit of the holiday is important to remember, though if it's alright with you, I will continue to hate the romantic nonsense that pervades the day!_

 _I'm glad you've shared your reasoning behind why it was difficult to accept both Harry and myself as adults. I had not considered it from that point of view, and I can understand now why you would have been nervous. For you, no time had passed, and you were exactly the same while we were completely different people. Or so you thought._

 _And you're right, it isn't the same reason I came up with. I thought perhaps you were incapable of seeing me as anything other than sixteen since you missed watching me grow up. Perhaps that was my own worry and I was projecting it on you._

 _But I guess I shouldn't have been nervous. You never treated me like a silly kid, even when I was one. I've always been grateful to you for that._

 _I would love it if you wrote to me. I feel rather isolated here in Scotland while the rest of you are together in London, able to visit at a moment's notice. And the rest of our friends are quite rubbish at owling, except for Tonks. It would actually mean quite a lot to me to hear from you. It would make me feel more connected to our little family._

 _Thank you again, Sirius. And Happy Valentine's Day._

 _Love,_  
 _Hermione_

She debated about her signature, but decided to keep it. She used it while owling all her friends, and she was quite sure he wouldn't read anything more into it.

She set the letter aside to take up to the owlery before dinner.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

After their initial exchange of letters, Hermione's relationship with Sirius seemed to shift somehow.

He had been true to his word, writing her no less than weekly, often more, which honestly shocked her. She thought he may write her once or twice between monthly dinners, but his consistency and the open honesty he employed in his writing warmed her heart.

He seemed to be able to say things in writing he wasn't comfortable saying in person, when his bravado and easy charm still seemed to win out. He told her of his anxiety and nightmares (still a remnant from his Azkaban days), and his fears that he was disappointing the people closest to him, specifically Harry and Remus, with his seeming inability to move forward with his life.

Hermione was thrilled that he trusted her to such an extent. When they met face to face at the end of February for the first time since the exchange of letters began, Hermione had been worried that he would be uncomfortable with her after sharing so much, but it was actually the opposite. He seemed more relaxed with her, even flirty at times, when they met in the back stoop. The change in him was remarkable, and she hoped that it meant he was finally settling in.

In March, Hermione had to miss the dinner, something that rarely happened. She had come down with the flu the day before, and though it was easily fixed by Madame Pomfrey, she still had to spend the weekend in the hospital wing recovering.

She got a shock the following Saturday evening, when she opened the door to her quarters on the way to the Great Hall for dinner, and Sirius was standing there, hand poised to knock.

She jumped back, startled, "Sirius! What are you doing here?!"

He looked down, seemingly embarrassed, rubbing the back of his neck, "Well, I, ummm... You mentioned once that you feel kind of isolated here. When you had to miss dinner last week, I thought it may be nice if we came to you."

Hermione looked over his shoulder and saw Remus and Tonks standing behind him, "That's... really amazing actually. Let me just get my cloak."

Hermione couldn't help but feel giddy as she walked with her friends down the path to Hogsmeade. She was thrilled that he had sought her out, and while it would have been nice if he had come himself, maybe he thought she would see it like too much of a date? Which she probably would have, or at least been confused by it. This way it was much more casual and less pressure.

They settled into the booth at Three Broomstick, Tonks and Remus across from her and Sirius. Every time they brushed up against each other, she felt her nerve endings fire, and much to her chagrin, her cheeks heated. She was sure it was just her imagination, but she felt like Sirius was brushing up against her far more than what usually happened when sitting in a booth next to someone.

Conversation flowed freely, her friends catching her up on what she'd missed at last week's dinner.

"You lucked out this time Hermione," Tonks said, "Ginny went full blown bridezilla when Harry and Ron started in on their ideas for the reception. Thankfully, her ire was directed at them, but it was a sight to behold!"

Hermione laughed, "I can imagine. I got a fifteen-minute lecture from her just because I wanted to wear shorter heels. Needless to say, I'm wearing the taller heels."

They all laughed, then Sirius told her, "Harry asked me to be his best man."

"Did he? That's great!" Hermione was genuinely pleased to hear the news. She knew having Sirius stand up with him would mean the world to Harry.

"Yeah. I was kind of surprised. I figure it would be Ron for sure, but Harry assured me he didn't want anyone else."

"I guess that means you two are going to hook up since you're maid of honor and best man!" Tonks joked.

Hermione cursed herself when her cheeks flared up again, and the heat went all the way to her hairline. Thankfully Sirius and Remus began talking about something else, but Tonks was looking at her strangely. A couple minutes later Tonks exclaimed, "Budge up boys! It's time for me and Hermione to visit the ladies!"

Sirius and Remus moved out of the booth and Hermione followed Tonks to the loo. As soon as the door swung shut behind her, Tonks spun around and accused, "You have a thing for Sirius!"

"What?! Why would you say that?!" Hermione practically screeched.

"Because it's true! I saw you out there! You practically turned the shade of a tomato when I made that crack about hooking up! Plus, I've noticed you watching him at dinner for months! But I didn't realize how far you'd fallen until tonight."

"Tonks, I haven't fallen anywhere! I just-just..."

"Just what? Can you tell me I'm wrong? That you don't have feelings for him?"

Hermione was momentarily spared from answering when a tiny old witch tried to enter and the door bumped into her. She moved forward, apologizing to the woman, who shot her a dirty look.

"I won't deny it Tonks," Hermione whispered, so the unfriendly stranger wouldn't hear. "I do feel something for Sirius. But I promise you, I'm not pining for him or anything! I know he's not exactly celibate, and he's not exactly the model of commitment. And he doesn't feel anything for me beyond friendship."

"Hmm, I wouldn't be so sure about that," Tonks replied, voice low. "You don't see Harry or Ron show up at your door when you miss dinner, do you? And he came 'round to me and Remus this morning, wanting us to join him tonight. I think he might have been nervous about showing up here alone. And, it sounds like his days of sleeping around may be over soon, if they aren't already. According to Harry, he's spending more nights in than out these days. I told you that wouldn't last."

Hermione was surprised by the news. She hadn't asked him about that aspect of his life after that first awkward conversation months ago. She had just assumed he was continuing on the way he had started. Tonks' words had given her hope. Hope that she didn't really want to have.

* * *

By the time April's dinner rolled around, Hermione had convinced herself Tonks had been wrong. Sirius saw her as a good friend, nothing more.

As was their custom, she met him on the back stoop. The weather was beginning to warm from the frigid winter temperatures, but the air still had quite a bite to it.

Hermione shivered against the chill. Sirius put his arm around her shoulder, rubbing up and down her arm. Hermione started, surprised by the unexpected move. He'd never done so before, even when the air had been freezing over the winter months.

"Pretty soon it'll be warm enough to take you out on a spin on my bike," Sirius commented.

Hermione stared at him incredulously, "And what makes you think I would ever get on that thing? Don't you know me at all?!"

Sirius laughed, "Of course I do! Which is why I know there's an adventurous streak in you, even if you don't show it often."

"Hmmm, I'm not so sure about that."

"Oh come on! I'm not asking you to join me in death defying stunts. Just to take a quick ride around the block with me."

Hermione shook her head "I'm not making any promises about that, but don't count on it."

Sirius laughed, "We'll see."

After a few minutes of silence, he continued, "I, ummm, I got a job."

Hermione looked up at him as he stared out over the garden. He sounded embarrassed for some reason. "That's great Sirius! What will you be doing?"

"Working for Fred and George. They asked me to join them for research and development. Said they would really appreciate my expertise."

Hermione smiled, "That's brilliant! Sounds like a perfect job for you."

"You think so? I was worried you may think it too..."

"Too... what?"

"Childish?" Sirius said questioningly.

"Not at all! They may own a joke shop, but the twins are really quite amazing businessmen. They've created a hugely successful brand, and I think it actually says quite a lot about you that they think you a good fit to join," she hesitated, then added, "You shouldn't worry about what I think about it anyway."

Sirius looked down at her intently, then tugged on one of her curls, "But I do worry about what you think. All the time"

Hermione's heart was pounding, cheeks burning. His eyes held hers for a long moment before looking away. She was grateful when a few minutes later, Ginny interrupted them to have a maid of honor chat with Hermione.

* * *

Hermione found that the more time went by, the more she thought about Sirius. They were continuing their correspondence, but she hadn't seen him since April's dinner, and she was almost giddy with excitement leading up to May's dinner.

The day was unseasonably warm. She had received a note that morning from Sirius asking her to come an hour earlier than usual. She was suspicious about what he was up to, but happy he wanted to spend extra time with her.

As soon as she entered the foyer at Grimmauld Place, he was there to greet her. He took her hand and tugged her into the sitting room where a big box sat on the coffee table.

"I bought you something," he said, bouncing on the balls of his feet, huge grin on his face. Hermione noticed he was wearing his leather riding jacket, which she hadn't seen him in since New Year. She felt a knot of fear settle in her stomach.

She approached the box cautiously, as if afraid whatever was inside was going to attack her. When she slid the top flaps open, her fears were confirmed. It was a helmet.

"No! Sirius, I told you I didn't want to ride on that thing!"

Sirius came forward, reaching in and pulling the helmet out of the box. It was quite a heavy duty one, designed to protect the entire head. "I know what you said. That's why I bought you the helmet, so you would feel safe. Or safer at least. Please Hermione? Just a quick trip around the block and I'll go slow, I swear! And I won't take to the air. I know you hate flying. "

His face looked so hopeful, and even though her stomach was curling with anxiety, she knew she wouldn't be able to say no to him. She nodded slightly. He grinned again, and practically ran back out into the hall.

Hermione realized suddenly that she was in a knee length skirt, completely inappropriate for a motorcycle ride. She quickly transfigured her skirt into tight fitting pants and her flats into boots, and followed Sirius out into the hall.

When she met him in the foyer, he was holding something in his arms, which he held up for her. It was a black leather jacket.

"Sirius, I certainly hope you didn't buy me that jacket too. It looks expensive!"

"It was expensive! And no, I didn't buy it for you. It's mine. I had bought it to replace my old one when I got my inheritance, but never really wore it."

He shook it in the air slightly, indicating for her to put it on. She slid her arms through as he helped her, and she couldn't help but marvel at the luxury of it. The leather was soft and supple and smelled wonderful. She thought he must keep it under some sort of stasis charm for the decades old jacket to be in such perfect condition.

She was startled from her thoughts when he reached down and began to zip the jacket up her front. Her eyes flew to his, and she saw his gray eyes were dark, returning her gaze with an intensity that left her breathless and blushing.

Once the coat was zipped, he stepped back to look at the overall effect. There was no mirror in the foyer, but the jacket was obviously much too big on her.

Becoming uncomfortable under his gaze, she broke the silence, "Should I shrink it to fit me better?" She offered.

"No! It's-it suits you like that. Don't change it."

Hermione was doubtful of that, but he looked so sincere. She nodded. He handed her the helmet from the hall table and headed outside.

The motorcycle was parked on the street out front, but Hermione was sure any passing muggle wouldn't see it. She watched as he ran his hand over the seat of the bike, and she was relieved to see there was a defined section for a passenger, though there was no seat back to count on to hold her in place.

She hesitated, unsure of what to do. He smiled at her as he reached up to tie his hair back, then hiked his leg up and over the bike, settling down on it.

She had never seen him on it before. She knew from his letters he rode it often, and took care of it lovingly. But to see him on it, leather jacket and heavy black boots on, with slim dark blue jeans, Hermione felt suddenly lightheaded, unable to breathe. When he turned to look at her, quirking his eyebrow and lifting the corners of his lips in a smile, she realized with sudden clarity she was in love with him. Had in fact been in love with him for months. And she had been lying to herself all along.

"Are you alright?" He asked, and she realized how she must look, gaping at him like a fool. She scuttled forward quickly, stopping at his knee, again unsure what to do.

"Put the helmet on." He said, and she quickly complied. "Swing your leg up and over the bike."

Once she was settled on, he reached back and ran both his hands down her legs, starting just below the knee. Hermione felt on the verge of an attack, her heart was pounding so hard. He grasped her ankles, lifting them off the ground and setting her feet on the foot rests meant for passengers.

She had never been so close to him, pressed against his back, tops of her thighs touching the backs of his. She suddenly felt like this was one of the most intimate moments she had ever experienced, even though there was no skin-on-skin contact. When he started the bike, and took off down the street, her fears asserted themselves again. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, sudden visions of flying off the back of the bike and landing in a heap in the middle of the road invading her mind.

He was true to his word. He drove slow and steady, easing into every stop and turn smoothly. She soon began to feel more comfortable, enjoying the sensations. When they stopped at a red light she leaned her head up over his shoulder, loudly saying "Faster!" to be heard over the sound of the bike and the traffic. She felt him laugh under her hands, and he looked over his shoulder at her with a big grin and nodded. He directed them out of the neighborhoods to the main road, opening the bike up and speeding down the lane. Hermione was exhilarated.

He suddenly slowed, pulling off into an old industrial section of the city where old warehouses were in the process of being converted into flats. He stopped in front of one building, cutting the engine.

"Where are we?" Hermione asked, completely bewildered by the detour. Sirius motioned for her to get off the bike, and she followed, walking toward the big building.

"This is the real reason I wanted to take you out for a ride tonight. I, ummm, I'm moving here."

"You bought a flat?" Hermione asked, surprise evident in her voice.

"Not exactly. I kind of bought the building." Hermione stared at him, shocked. He hurried to continue, "I just thought with the wedding in a few weeks, that Harry and Ginny needed their privacy back. Not that we ever really see each other in that big house, but still. They said I could stay, but..." He trailed off.

"I started looking around and found this place. It's still under construction, but the owner ran out of money and couldn't finish the job. So, I thought it might be a good investment. Finish it the way I want, then live in one if the flats and rent out the rest."

When Hermione didn't say anything immediately, he started to look nervous, "Do you think it was a bad idea? I know it was kind of impulsive, but it seemed like a smart move when I did it."

"Nervous rambling is usually my thing, you know," Hermione joked smiling at him, "I think it's great, Sirius. When can I see the inside?"

He beamed at her praise, "I close on the deal next month just after the wedding. I'll get the keys then and I can bring you straight away. I've already started doing research on construction companies. Muggle of course, because of the neighborhood."

Hermione took his hand, "I'm so happy for you. You've really made a life for yourself."

He smiled, wrapping her hand in both of his, "Your hand is freezing! I should have thought of gloves. It's time to be getting back anyway. Just to warn you, Ginny has already made it clear tonight is going to be all wedding talk, as the next time we'll all be together is the big day."

When they were settled back on the bike, Sirius took the hands she had wrapped around him and slid them under his jacket. Hermione was stunned when she realized that he had maneuvered them under his shirt as well, so her palms rested on the bare skin of this stomach. He held them there for a moment, as if afraid she'd pull away, then said, "To warm you up," before starting the bike. Hermione suddenly felt warm all over, not just where her hands touched his skin.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** This is it, the last chapter! Thank you so much to everyone who read this story, and for all the Favs, Follows, and Reviews! This has been such an amazing experience! And thank you again to my beta Ms. K. Everdeen.

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

The morning of Harry and Ginny's wedding, Hermione packed up her gear and headed over to the Lupin's. Tonks had insisted that Hermione let her do her hair and make-up for the day. Though she claimed she just thought it would be fun, Hermione knew it was because Tonks didn't trust her with the task for something as important as being maid of honor. Hermione was inclined to agree, her skill probably wasn't up to snuff.

They spent a couple of hours getting ready, and Hermione had to admit Tonks had done a great job.

The dress robes Ginny had picked were a beautiful dark cream with golden embroidery along the edges and down the sleeves. Her make-up, while more that she usually wore, was not overdone. And Tonks had pulled her heavy, honey brown curls into an elegant chignon, which Hermione had been amazed at. Even when she fixed her hair up, it always had a wild look to it, but Tonks had assured her that she had used just enough magic to make sure it stayed put all day.

"You look amazing, Hermione," Tonks said when they were done. "Sirius is going to have a heart attack when he sees you."

Hermione started, "Why on earth would you say something like that?" After begging her not to, Tonks had not brought up Hermione's feelings for Sirius since March.

Tonks just smiled, heading for the door, "Come on, we need to get going if we're going to be to the Burrow on time!"

Hermione stood, rooted to the spot, mind spinning. Had Sirius said something to her? Or to Remus? Hermione was startled from her thoughts by Tonks' reminder shout from outside, and she scuttled to the door.

* * *

After spending the early afternoon helping Ginny and taking pictures, it was almost time for the bonding ceremony. Suddenly, Ginny cried out in alarm, "Oh no, the rings! I forgot the rings!"

Maid of honor mode kicked in for Hermione, and she rushed forward. "Where are they?"

"In my dresser drawer. I was supposed to give Sirius my ring and bring Harry's here to give you!"

"Don't worry, I'll apparate over to Grimmauld Place and grab them. The men should still be there, so I can give the ring to Sirius. I'll be back in plenty of time for the ceremony."

Ginny hugged and thanked her, and she left for the apparation point.

When she arrived at Grimmauld Place, there was no one in sight. She went upstairs and retrieved the rings then went in search of Sirius. She found him in the library standing by the desk, glass of firewiskey in his hand, looking down at something.

He didn't notice her at first, he was obviously deep in thought, a frown creasing his face. Even so, he looked incredibly handsome, hair tied back with black dress robes and tie, and dark gray waistcoat.

Hermione gently cleared her throat, and he look up at her. He slowly lowered his glass to the desk. His eyes travelled up her body before finding hers, "Hermione, you look... stunning," he said, voice husky.

Hermione smiled, cheeks tinging, "Thank you. You look quite handsome yourself."

He smiled back at her, then looked back down at the desk. Hermione walked over to see what captured his attention. She saw one of Harry's photo albums opened to a picture of Lily and James on their wedding day.

"I haven't thought about them as much lately. I guess I've finally moved on with my life. They should be here today. I wish so much they were here," his voice was soft, choked sounding, like he was holding back tears.

Hermione took one of his hands in both of hers and squeezed, "Yes, they should have been here, and it's terrible they aren't. But you _are_ here, and Remus. And Harry has so many people who love him here today."

She moved her right hand up to his chest, laying it over his heart, "James and Lily are here, just like always. For Harry too. So, they won't miss today."

Sirius gripped her right hand on his chest with his free one. His gray eyes bore into hers intently, less than a foot away. Still holding her gaze, he brought her hand to his lips, placing a soft, lingering kiss on her palm. Hermione was suddenly breathless.

"You're an amazing woman, Hermione." Sirius murmured, lowering their hands, but not letting go. "Sometimes I feel like you're the only person who really knows me."

Hermione unconsciously leaned toward him, wanting nothing more in that moment than for him to kiss her.

Suddenly, he seemed to snap back to himself, stepping away and dropping her hands. Hermione, cheeks burning with embarrassment now, took her own step back.

"Umm, Gin-Ginny forgot the rings this morning," she fumbled, holding out the box with Ginny's ring. "I told her I would take care of it."

Sirius took the box from her, slipping it in his pocket.

"I should be getting back to the Burrow. I'll see you at the ceremony," she said. Sirius nodded, brow furrowed.

* * *

The bonding ceremony had been beautiful, in the back garden of the Burrow, overlooking the flowering fields of Ottery St. Catchpole.

Hermione tried desperately to ignore the fluttering in her stomach and the catch in her breath every time she looked at Sirius throughout the ceremony. When it came time to walk back up the aisle with him, she slipped her hand into his offered arm, but avoided looking at him.

The reception started off beautifully as well. The large tent was decorated with flowers, lanterns, and twinkling lights. Dinner was delicious, and Harry and Ginny looked every bit a blissfully happy newlywed couple during their first dance. When the floor was opened up to other couples, Hermione was both hopeful and dreading that Sirius may ask her to dance as best man and maid of honor, but he didn't approach her, and it wasn't long before Ron lead her out onto the dance floor. She danced her way through most of the men in her extended family, but still no Sirius.

In fact, she hadn't seen much of him at all after dinner. She knew he had danced for a few songs; she had seen him with both Ginny and Tonks. The last time she had seen him, he had been deep in conversation with Remus. It had looked like they were having a disagreement, and she saw Sirius stalk out of the tent.

As the night wore on and people got further into their cups, the dancing because messier and wilder, so Hermione decided to take a breather and walk down to the pond. As soon as the pond came into view, she saw she wasn't the only one who had the same idea.

She couldn't see very well in the dim moonlight, but she knew instantly it was Sirius. She almost turned around and walked back, her embarrassment over their earlier encounter still fresh in her mind, but she was suddenly worried about him. His melancholy earlier in the day and his obvious argument with Remus had driven him out here, and she wanted to make sure he was alright.

He spun around at the sound of her approach. She saw instantly that he had drank too much that night. He still had a glass in his hand, and he was unsteady on his feet, the spinning motion making him stumble slightly. He caught himself quickly as he watched her come closer.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked. His voice was clear and steady, though low, telling Hermione that while he had certainly drank more than his share, he wasn't completely drunk. Not yet at least.

"I was getting some air. What about you?" Hermione asked.

"Same. Remus thought I was being too irrational. He thought the night air would knock some sense into me."

Hermione stopped a few feet in front of him, "What does Remus think you're being irrational about?"

He didn't answer at first. He brought his glass to his lips and drained it, then leaned down to set it on the ground. "You," he stated.

"Me? How are you being irrational about me?"

Sirius laughed bitterly, "According to Remus, I am unable to act rationally when it comes to you."

Hermione just stood there, dumbfounded.

"You see, he knows how I feel about you. How I've felt about you for months now. But he doesn't think I should tell you. Thinks that if I tell you, it will ruin everything. But I don't think it will."

"Sirius, what-"

He cut her off, "I know it won't ruin everything, because I know you feel the same. You don't say it, but I know you do."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Hermione said, shaken.

He stepped closer to her, raising a hand up and brushing the back of it across her cheek "I know because no matter what words might be coming out of your mouth, you always blush around me," Hermione's cheeks instantly betrayed her, though she doubted he'd be able to see in the dim light. "And I know you wanted me to kiss you earlier today at Grimmauld Place."

Hermione mentally shook herself, "You must have had much more to drink than I thought."

Sirius made a frustrated sound and shook his head turning away, "Don't do that Hermione! Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about!"

Hermione felt her own frustration rise. This was not how she pictured this sort of conversation with him going. "I _don't_ know what you're talking about! Are you telling me that you're attracted to me? Care about me? What? How am I supposed to react to that, when you've never given me any indication that you saw me as anything other than a friend?"

He turned back toward her so suddenly, she jumped back. He closed the distance between them quickly, and before she could think, his lips were on hers, one hand behind her neck, the other around her waist.

She had often imagined what kissing him would be like, but reality was so much better. His mouth moved against hers expertly, teasing her and leaving her weak kneed and clinging to him. She was completely overcome, all of her senses attuned the man whose arms she was in. She couldn't have pulled away from him if she wanted to. It was perfect.

When he finally pulled back, Hermione almost stumbled at the sudden loss. She rested her forehead against his chest, grasping the front of his robes.

She felt him kiss her hair, then he leaned down to whisper, "Is that indication enough?

She looked up at his face, mere inches away from hers, "Why are you doing this, Sirius? You are the consummate playboy! How could you have possibly fallen for me?!"

He smiled softly and traced her jaw with his finger, "You know I'm not like that anymore. When I first came back, I felt like that's all I really had. It was a way for me to let loose and have fun without worrying about tomorrow. But life changed. I resettled in my relationships, my job, and my home. I don't need to seek comfort in some strange woman's arms. Please tell me you know that. Know I don't do that anymore?"

"Yes," Hermione breathed, beginning to regain her senses. Now she was beginning to feel giddy.

"A lot of that is because of you too. I've known for a while how I feel about you, but I didn't want to come to you a homeless lay about. I wanted to be someone you could be proud of."

Hermione brought her hands to his face, cupping his cheeks. "I am proud of you! You've come so far in such a short time, after having lost so much. I think you've done wonderfully.

And you're right. I-I do have feelings for you." She had almost said she loved him, but realizing he hadn't actually said those words yet, she had hesitated.

He kissed her lips quickly, lightly, then rested his forehead against hers, "I love you, Hermione."

Hermione's breath left her lungs in a whoosh and she pressed herself against him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling his lips down to hers.

"I love you, too," she whispered after they pulled apart.

He let out a shaky laugh, "I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that. I was worried for a minute Remus was right and it was a bad idea to do this tonight."

Suddenly Hermione was nervous, "Does he not approve? Not that it matters I guess, but I never really considered what our friends would think. What if they hate it? What if Harry hates us being together? Oh God, what is Harry going to say?!"

Sirius silenced her rambling with another kiss, "Remus doesn't disapprove! And Harry won't either. Don't worry about it. Remus just wanted me to be sure I was ready for commitment. He knows you're not the kind of woman to do things by halves, and I don't think he trusted that I was ready to start something with you. But I am. I swear I am."

"I believe you, and I-I trust you."

Sirius smiled, "A long time ago, I asked you to dance with me and you turned me down. How good do you think my chances are if I asked you to dance with me tonight?"

"I'd say they are pretty good," Hermione paused, then she couldn't help but ask the question that had been on her mind for months. "Sirius, if I hadn't said no that night, do you think things would have gone differently?"

Sirius shrugged, "I honestly don't know. I-I wasn't in a good place back then. But that doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is where we are in this very moment, and where we'll be tomorrow, and the next day. And in this moment, I want to dance for the first time with the woman I love."

He reached out and tugged one of her curls before taking her hand and leading her back to the party.

* * *

 **A/N #2:** I hope you loved reading this story as much as I loved writing it! I don't intend on posting an epilogue; however, I did begin writing another story, the first chapter of which has been posted. It's called "Future's Past," and though it's quite different from this story, it's still Hermione x Sirius, so please check it out!


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